SUICIDE IS AN ENEMY…

My words on Facebook earlier today…

Truth is, life is not always “easy” but remember that “nothing lasts forever. Hardship may persist, but it will never be forever.

Brokenness may persist but it will eventually fade away.

At trying times, as much as you can, look not at the problems, but at a POSSIBLE POSITIVE turn around of events.

Let that hope keep you going.

Suicide IS NOT THE BEST OPTION…IT SHOULD NOT BE AN OPTION AT ALL.

We don’t really know what’s it’s like “over there”. So let’s preserve and cherish this one life that we now have as much as we can.

Look forward to the “LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL”

Let’s support each other…only love can keep us going, so let’s turn on the “tap of love”…LET IT FLOW…LET LOVE AND LIFE FLOW!

#saynotosuicide #lifeisprecious #preservelife #itwillgetbetter #heartbreakdoesntlastforever #hardshipistemporary #veraslounge #life

THE WINTER TREE

Vera photography

How do you describe the picture above tree?

While you think about it, let me give you my own descriptions:

1. It’s bare of leaf

2. The branches look like reaching arms.

3. It looks skeleton-bare and eerie

4. I can tell that the tree bark will feel as cold as a crocodile’s back.

Etc… etc…

But can we look beyond the old and haggard looks of the tree and it’s branches? Look deeper…deeper…what do you see?

THE BEAUTIFUL BRIGHT BLUE SKIES! Right? Yeah! I see it too!

See? The tree is old and not very pleasant to look at, but through the leafless and weary looking branches, the bright and heart-warming blue skies can be seen.

That is all i see! I see beyond the “ugliness of this beautiful tree”…😊

See, this is a tree in Winter…it’s nothing lovely to look at (maybe) But! …but because it is bare of leaves, it exposes the beautiful blue skies.

In Summer, this very tree will become “healthy “ with lots of green leaves…it will look extremely beautiful! But then…then, the beautiful blue skies will be hidden from the view!

Do you catch the drift yet?

Of course, you have…Weldon. So,  let’s talk about it…

See the good in every situation in your life.

When it seems like your life has become “bare of leaf”, just like this tree in winter, look beyond the tree and see the beautiful blue skies…look beyond the difficulties and see the beautiful side of your life, because it is always…always there. Hold on to that while you wait for the summer…for the time that “the beauty”will be evident for all to see.

The only problem is that we are most times, too focused on the ugly part, to see the beautiful part.

Let this Winter tree be your guide today…

Shalom!

Picture taken by @veracuzokwe_n

#photography #hobby #nature #winter #tree #motivation #inspiration #seethegood #bepositive #lifeisbeautiful

I PAY NO HEED TO THE SOCIETY’S STANDARDS…

The society has set certain standards and time limits for people. We are expected to do certain things at certain times and if we fail to, we are considered failures in that area.

Some of such standards include:

  • When to marry,
  • Whom to marry
  • Whom not to marry
  • what kind of a wedding to have
    when to have kids, and when not
    when to get a job and how much to earn…and so on…
  • One faulty thing about such standards is that they are set for everyone, not putting into consideration, people’s makeups…people’s personalities, people’s life values, etc.
  • We are products of our society, yes. Our society influences us greatly, i agree. But always remember that your peace of mind and happiness surpasses everything you aim to achieve by pleasing the society.
  • The society tells you what is expected of you, but is it always on the journey of life with you?

    #thinkaboutit #bewise

    #veraslounge

    #beinspired #mondaymotivation #lifeagoodlife #behappy #havepeaceofmind #igers #motivationalquotes #motivationalspeaker #blog

    IMELDA’S DILEMMAS

    You see why i can Never be with just you? Just one woman? And a daft woman for that matter!?”

    This sort of questions always came whenever she annoyed him.

    That morning, her offence was failing to submit to him in bed.

    But why would she not? Wasn’t he her husband?

    Isn’t it morally wrong to deny one’s husband access to the body?

    Imelda had given “being weak and having body pains” as an excuse. But who says no to Jerome? Nobody…not for any reason.

    He had forgotten that he was behind his wife’s state that morning. He as usual, forgot that he was the one that battered her body the previous night for not turning off the electricity generator before going to bed.

    He had come back late in the night, long after she’d gone to bed, long after mid night, and got mad at her for “wasting” his resources by leaving the electricity generator on.

    He dragged her out of bed, pushed and slapped her around severally, before settling for his favourite “weapon of correction”, his leather belt. Imelda dreaded the sight of the belt. Before she could say anything, Jerome had pulled his belt, and flogged her all over the body.

    “I made it clear that you cannot be unruly and lousy in my house! Why the hell would you leave the generator on while sleeping?”, he asked as he beat her that night.

    Eventually, he got tired and left her on the floor to cry her eyeballs out. She didn’t understand why leaving the generator on would be a problem. They ran the generator all through the night…so she wondered what changed that night.

    Wiping her tears off her face, she went straight to the kitchen to serve him his food which could pass for an early breakfast, before she went back to sleep. He happily had his meal as if nothing happened.

    That was the previous night.

    Fast forward to the next morning….where our story started:

    Imelda didn’t know how badly she was battered until the following morning when he tapped her body and demanded for his usual morning sex…she said that she was weak and that her body ached. And then came the question of why he would have just a woman in his life.

    That wasn’t the first time he would make that kind of comment. Comment that pointed to the fact that he placed no value on her as his wife.

    But then, that was the typical Jerome. He was a lousy talker.

    He always boasted about the number of women he was with before he found himself in the “hell fire” of a marriage with her.

    On one occasion when he ranted about Imelda’s inability to conceive yet, he boasted that some of his ex girlfriends got pregnant for him, therefore that the fault wasn’t from him…”Why have you not taken in then, woman?” He would ask

    Imelda was always dumbfounded when such questions hit her face, and they did at least twice every day. She wondered if four months was too late for a couple to have a child…

    Yes! They were just married for four months and she was already miserable. He too was miserable.

    “What did you do?” “Why are you not pregnant yet”? Are you sure that you are not cursed”? “You are certainly cursed, that is the only reason why you have failed to get pregnant” “I am not the problem, because I got lots of women pregnant in the past, some I even forced to abort the babies”, Jerome would always boast.

    Imelda felt guilty. Could it be her fault then? She knew that as a young girl growing up, she had made some mistakes. But then, Jerome’s past was even darker  than hers. He was a chronic womaniser…and as a matter of fact had not changed even as a married man. He was cruel to most of his ex girlfriends, and treated them like she was being treated at the moment , or even worse.

    Before they got married, he once told her about a particular girl that he sent out of his  house in the middle of the night for answering a call from another man…he didn’t even bother to know if the man was the girl’s relative. The rule was: “no phone call with any dude once you are in my house” Poor girl, she broke the rule and was kicked out into the dangerous street in the middle of the night.

    Imelda had remarked that he was extreme in his decision…but then that was Jerome. Heartless and jealous to a fault.

    Imelda knew before she married him, that he was that kind of a man. They courted on and off for two years before they finally got married. And the reason the relationship was on and off was because Jerome was being Jerome. He would misbehave and then apologise, and for some personal reasons, she would take him back again…

    At this point , Imelda was beginning to ask herself why and how she ended up saying “I do to him?”

    ….oh did i forget to mention that Jerome’s pocket was loaded? Ah! He was one of the big guns in town. And he was a very generous giver too. Imelda was the easy go go kinda girl. She liked the good things of life…yes she did. Who doesn’t anyway? 😊

    Could his financial state and her love for the good things of life be the reason Imelda said “i do” to Jerome, even when she was aware that her happiness wasn’t guaranteed in the marriage?…

    To Be continued…as a movie

    *An excerpt from a novel that i am working on.

    What are your thoughts?

    •Will Emelda leave Jerome and the marriage ?

    •Will Jerome end the marriage?

    •Will Imelda stay and try to work things out?

    Or will she eventually kill Jerome out of frustration?

    •Will Jerome change to a better man/husband?

    •Will Imelda choose to endure the pains because he is her “financial soft landing”

    •Will they find a way to resolve their issues and make the marriage work?

    What do you think?

    #Imelda’s Dilemma

    I WAS UNGRATEFUL…

    DISCLAIMER!

    I am not proud of my behaviour in the following excerpt🤦🏼‍♀️

    I am only sharing it so that someone can learn from my mistakes.

    I was unable to get out of the bed even though it was a Monday…i was so sad and frustrated that I felt like i had no single reason to get out of bed that morning.

    “What was i getting off to do anyway? I wasn’t in a good mood, so it’s better i do not go out there and infect others with my terrible mood”, i thought

    How did i get to that point?

    It all started exactly two months and four days after i didn’t get something I thought was very important for me to move to the next level in life.

    I hoped for and worked for it. Then trusting God to perfect my plans, I equally prayed about it. But it didn’t come.

    I could not bear the pain of the disappointment, and so I became depressed and frustrated. See how that Monday morning depression came about?

    Truth is that, before that time, I was a person who always had everything that she needed or wanted.

    I have always believed that the universe loves me so much. I call myself “God’s Favourite girl” And this is because even though sometimes i do not exactly work for some things , they somehow come to me. I didn’t understand how they happened, i just give the universe (God) the credit. (Which I think is a reasonable thing to do 😊)

    So, you see why i was frustrated when I didn’t get what i took out time to work and pray for?

    It got to a very dangerous point when I secretly started “losing my faith in God!…”

    “He knows how important this is to me! So ,why won’t He do it for me if truly, He is there and cares”, i asked myself.

    Giving my religious upbringing, I knew that with that kind of thought , i was going down a very dangerous and destructive path…i tried to stop myself…but the bitterness and frustration i felt were overwhelming. I couldn’t. This feeling lingered on for days…weeks…

    It took the very powerful hand of the Holy Spirit(my dearest friend),to drag me out of that dangerous path i was headed!

    How did it happen? It was one of those mornings that i felt low, and I wanted to listen to music to soothe my burdened heart. (Music is therapeutic for me btw). Before my present state, I normally would prefer to play some gospel tunes. But ever since i started feeling frustrated , I avoided every gospel music…(because i was “unhappy” with God)

    But that fateful morning, i was moved to dig out an old CD i got from a friend

    (Best of Amazing Grace Worship)

    I could not decide what to do with it…i even thought of dumping it and other similar CDs in the bin.

    I don’t know how that thinking changed, but i found myself “unwillingly” playing the CD anyway… but i barely listened to it. ( Or so I thought)

    I realized that i was actually listening to the songs when the 3rd track: “I SURRENDER ALL” by Ruben Studard started playing,and a line in it struck me…i paused the Cd player…rewound it…played it again, rewound it again and then listened again. I froze 😬

    The line went thus: “…even when things don’t go my way, Lord you can trust me to never stray…”

    Wow! This one time that things didn’t go my way, I strayed! I was weak…but even in my weakness, my legs still found the strength to shake uncontrollably… yet I was unable to move!

    From nowhere tears streamed down my face and my heart melted away. I cried like I had never cried before and then flashes of all that God had done for me in the past came to me all at once. Some, like I mentioned earlier, I didn’t even have to ask for!

    As I continued shaking and the tears continued streaming down I had mixed feelings that I couldn’t explain. But at that point, I understood how deeply I had strayed. To question His love and faithfulness. To question even His existence. I had messed up big time. The shame I felt, I had never felt before.

    I quickly got a book and a pen and wrote down all that God had done for me in the past…all the blessings of life that I had received. Life alone is enough reason to be thankful. Then talk about the obvious ones…Good health? Family? Spouse? Job? Talent? Good friends? Numerous favors? The list went on…

    I made the list and could not take my eyes off the pages because indeed He had done more than enough for me!

    I realized how ungrateful I was to even question Him for not answering that one prayer out of the thousands that He answered!

    He (God) had always answered and favoured me and this one time He has delayed, I was doubting Him? How could I? How foolish…how ungrateful I was.

    I went down on my knees immediately and cried for forgiveness to Him.

    I was instantly healed of my foolishness. And then I was able to think clearly…I started rethinking the whole situation, and considered all the “what ifs”

    •What if He had not answered because He had better plans for me?

    •What if that was His way of testing my loyalty? And I failed…gosh!

    To be honest, that thought scared me. But then, I knew that He is a merciful God and through His mercy, He had sent the Holy Spirit that morning, to pull me back with that particular song.

    Good news is, He forgave me of my ungratefulness, and took me back into his loving arms. *we became best friends again* 😊

    Maybe someone reading this is presently in a similar situation. Or maybe it will happen in the future.

    Listen, Sometimes God goes silent…yes, it happens. But trust me when I tell you that it is always for the good reasons. He promised that the thoughts He has for is are for good! He doesn’t tell lies. And be rest assured that He doesn’t stay silent forever.

    Provided that you do your part as human, keep calm and leave the rest to Him.

    He always comes through for His children.

    And hey, while you wait, maybe borrow a leaf from me, and count your blessings as you wait for the next one. That will definitely help you relax.

    Now, Taking this away from God, let’s talk about our relationship with people. Family members, friends, colleagues, etc.

    Are we always appreciative of them, or do we raise our expectations of them and then become ungrateful when they don’t meet up?

    I remember a story someone told me about how her relatives whom she used to send some support money, all turned against her and called her stingy when she couldn’t do what she used to do anymore.

    Even though they understood that she had a personal problem that was eating deep into her finances at the time, they still didn’t think that she should stop supporting them financially . This may sound trivial , but it points to the fact that we sometimes, due to our selfishness, fail to appreciate what we have, the people in our lives, etc.

    So the lesson I learned is:

    Before you complain, before you pout in frustration and disappointment, pause for a moment, and COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.

    Shalom!

    P.S. Not long after my awakening, that which I asked and hoped for, came to me in a BETTER and BIGGER way.

    The reason for the delay was obviously because it took time to make it BIGGER and BETTER for me…. and for that, i am very GRATEFUL .😊🤞