Life Simplified

You are with the right people; the right things happen in your life

You are with the lazy; you become lazy

You are with the hardworking: you are forced to work hard

You are with criminals: One day you shall become one too

You are with the wise; One day you will become wise, no matter how foolish you are

You are with the influential: You will be seen as one, even if you are not one yet

You work hard; you become successful, (well in most cases)

You are lazy; you will stay hungry,(well in most cases)

You are upright; you will always be happy,( If you truly know how refreshing it is to be upright)

You eat too much; you become obessed – balance is the key

You eat too little; you become too thin- balance is the key

You eat balanced diet; you are nourished and healthy

You eat imbalanced diet; you become malnourished and sick

It can go on and on…but the point is, LIFE IS VERY SIMPLE. We get what we give. It is left for us to decide what to give out…there is always an opposite side of everything

Good;evil

Fat; thin

Healthy;unhealthy(sick)

Rich; poor

Happy;unhappy(sad)

Successful;unsuccessful

It is for us to choose where to belong…it is left for us to simplify our lives…

Shalom!

Social network stole my privacy (part 1)

Social Networks and Privacy…this topic has been on my mind for a very long time and as i am writing this piece i ask myself, ”Why have you not written anything about this ‘HOT’ and relevant topic before now?”

Recently, there was a very disturbing encounter between two women on one of the social networks. I happened to stumble on it. The first woman, a wife ,came out publicly(as is the trend nowadays), to congratulate her husband on his birthday, and as well “boast” about how good and caring he is to her, despite the fact that they have no child after four years of being married.

Then the second woman, who identified herself by her comment, as the other woman in the first woman’s husband’s life, came out on the same discussion thread, to inform the “wife”, that she had no reason to boast about how caring and faithful her husband is, because as she wrote, ‘the same husband(whom she gave out the full names and his company name), was with her, to celebrate the same birthday which the wife happily told the world about. And that the same husband is the father of her two children…and that the gifts he got her, which she boasted about, were actually inferior  to the one the same “husband”, got her….therefore that the wife should keep quiet and stop boasting, because obviously, she is not the best thing that happened to the man-(my words)

I gathered later, from what the sister to the “wife” wrote on same thread, that the “wife” was in a deep emotional misery, after reading the message from her husband’s side chick. And was at the verge of “taking her own life”

A lot of people lashed out at the second woman, raining curses on her for her inhumane action.

Honestly, inwardly I asked myself “how could a woman do this to her fellow woman? Having her husband was not enough, you equally came out to destroy her emotionally”…but here is the big question:

IF THE WIFE HAD PRIVATELY CALLED HER HUSBAND TO WISH HIM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AND TO THANK HIM FOR HIS LOVE AND GOODNESS TO HER, WOULD ALL THESE HAVE HAPPENED?

This and of course other similar or even more disturbing incidents, gave an insight to this HOT topic, SOCIAL NETWORKS AND PRIVACY, ESPECIALLY AS IT CONCERNS RELATIONSHIPS, BE IT FAMILY, ROMANTIC, ETC.

Does the world need to know the people we are in relationships with?

Does the world need to be updated on every aspect of our supposedly private lives?

Are all these necessary? Do they add value to our lives, or take from them?

Different people will have different opinions about this.  I will share mine and give some advice, hoping that it will help someone make a retreat. The truth is that anything that does not add value, depreciates it….it is that simple. It can either be GOOD, or BAD. No two ways about it….

In SOCIAL NETWORKS AND PRIVACY PART 2, I will proceed with the discussion proper.

Social Network stole my privacy (part 2)

Starting from where I left off the other time. I ended by asking some questions, like: Does the world need to know the people we are in relationships with? Does the world need to be updated on every aspect of our supposedly private lives?

If you missed the first part, you can read it here:SOCIAL NETWORKS AND PRIVACY(Part 1)

It is easy to assume that everyone understands what social networking means, but it is not safe to assume so.  From the various abuse that social networks suffer, it is apparent that a lot of us don’t understand what social networking is all about.

 WhatIs.com defines Social networking as the practice of expanding the number of one’s business and/or social contacts by making connections through individuals, often through social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Google+. http://whatis.techtarget.com/

Dictionary.com defines it as the development of social and professional contacts; the sharing of information and services among people with a common interest.

2.Digital Technology. the use of websites or other online technologies to communicate with people and share information, resources, etc.: http://www.dictionary.com/
 
Take note of the bold phrases above.
There are thousands of such definitions on the internet, and I can go on and on to quote them, but then, there is no need for that because the definitions are all the same.
In a simple man’s words, social networking is the practice of making  online connections with both people we already know and those that we don’t.
The strong terms in the definitions are: Making Social and professional contacts.
meaning that the purpose of the connections could either be social or professional.
The problem now is that a lot of people have difficulties in handling the social aspect properly.  That is where the problem with making private matters public starts.
Social Networks and Privacy…We live in a  world of “show Biz”. A world of entertainment. A world in which everyone wants to ‘show’ how happy, successful, beautiful, talented, lucky, etc., they are. And the emergence of social networking sites, has greatly promoted this lifestyle. There is nothing wrong in living in a show biz world. Of course, people need to be entertained. It makes life easier. But the problem lies with:
“SHOWING” PEOPLE MORE THAN THEY NEED TO KNOW, ALL IN THE NAME OF SOCIAL NETWORKING”
When I talk about showing people more than they need to know, i am particular about  issues concerning personal relationships like marriage, courtship, family, etc.
Originally, the aim of social networking sites, was to connect friends, and help people make new ones. And  to equally help people expand their professional terrian. Of course on the social side, friends are free to discuss different issues and share photos, but does it have to go as deep as creating an “album”  or a what can pass as a full “home movie” about practically everything that goes down in one’s marriage, and relationship? How does social networking translate to baring one’s entire family and personal lives, to the world to see? Some people have nothing left about them. Evrything is on their social networks handle.
Now, before I am misunderstood, let me state that people are free to live their lives the way they please. In the first part, i pointed out that different people will have different opinions about the topic and i am only out to share my own opinion and advise.
I am moved to write on this because of my observations about the harms that making private matters public via social networking sites, have done to a lot of people.
Private stuffs, when kept private, are safe and they equally last longer.
I always like using analogies so here is one, for keeping our private lives private.
But before I begin, let us understand that what i refer to as Private are those things that we place a lot of values on.
Here is my analogy.
About three years ago, I bought a dress that cost me about twenty thousand naira. At that time, (and even now), buying a dress worth that price was(and is still) crazy as far as i am concerned. But for some important and unavoidable reasons, i had to go for it. Whenever i wash this particular dress, i do not make the mistake of hanging it outside. I spin very well and hang inside my bathroom. The very thought of  it being stolen when i take it outside (even though the chances are very slim), scares me because not only did i spend a lot to buy the dress, it is equally a very beautiful dress, which is “very close to my heart”, so i safeguard it very well…i don’t want to hear any unpleasant story about it.
Relate the above analogy to romantic relationships, especially marriages. Dress is material and, yet I was meticulous about keeping it safe. What about our human companions? Isn’t our spouse supposed to be our highest priced treasure?(all things being equal). If i could keep my twenty thousand naira dress, away from public eyes, to avoid damage or even theft, why would anyone expose their romantic partners( even as serious as marriage partners) to a world of people that we barely know? Is it not like throwing a lamb into a pack of hyenas?
The truth is that not everyone has good intentions.  The fact that you communicate with people online and they like and comment on your stuffs, does not make all of them good people. Some people hate to see others happy. Some people will do anything to take away what makes others happy, for no reason at all. These kind of people exist in our world. #fact#
Why expose your loved ones to such a world?
The world does not need to know the people we are romantically involved with.
The world does not need to be updated on every personal move that we make.
Marriage is one of the most beautiful relationships I know, but sadly, a lot of marriages suffer today and a thorough investigation shows that a number of them suffer because of abuse of social networking sites by some of the parties involved.
Keep your treasures safe!
Let’s discuss MARRIAGE and why some fail later on this site.
For now, go with this:
Social netwroking is one of the greatest things that has happend to mankind. But when abused, it could cost one a lot. Feel free to use the sites, but if you can keep these away from them, then you are on the right track.
1. ISSUES CONCERNING YOUR LOVE LIFE /PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
2. YOUR NEXT MOVE
3. YOUR INCOME
DO NOT TELL PEOPLE MORE THAN THEY NEED TO KNOW, ALL IN THE QUEST TO BELONG OR SHOW THAT YOU ARE LIVING A GOOD LIFE. THE DISADVANTAGES ARE FAR MORE THAN THE ADVANTAGES.
1 Thessalonians 4:11 says: New International Version
..”and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you”
There is wisdom in the teaching. Only the wise abide by it.
 A quiet life compels dignity, peace and respect. May God bless us with all the wisdom that we need.

The seeds I sowed have sprouted!

I have written a number of articles, encouraging us to always move ahead of our past; to avoid allowing our past determine how we live today.  This post is not meant to contradict what was earlier written, but to shine more light on it.

If we live well today, then we shall have no reason to worry about tomorrow. What is called the  past today, was the present yesterday. This means that what we do today, forms what will be of us tomorrow.

I once wrote that: “the past should be in the past; that what matters is the present”

That was meant to teach that we should not kill oursleves about what we cannot change. The deed is already done and cannot be changed. What we can change is our today!

Minding how we live today, will help make our tomorrow peaciful.

That is because the SEEDS of the past, form the FRUITS of the present.

That’s why some believers still suffer afflictions,despite their faith and love for God. (consequences of what they did in the past)

Yes, the word of God says that once a man leaves his old ways, his sins shall be forgiven, but mind you, it never says that THE CONSEQUENCES Of his sins SHALL BE WITHDRAWN. No. It may become lighter due to God’s mercy, but to my knowledge, it never goes away.

When we sin, nature takes its course immediately.

God forgives when we repent. He releases His grace to us as His children. But the fact is this:

Sin and good deeds are like seeds. As soon as they are committed, they start sprouting.

For good deeds, the reward starts building up and taking effect.

For sins, the reward(punishment) starts sprouting and taking effect as well. What happens when one repents of his or her sin is that God in His infinite mercy, “cuts” the sprouting seed. He stops the consequences from growing  and becoming deeper – He causes the consequences of the sin stop adding up because the sinner has repented. But what happens to the seed that has already grown? What happens to the consequences that has already taken effect?

The Bible says that:  “whatsoever a man sows, he shall reap”.

Here is an analogy:

A child sees a burning fire and decides to touch it. He does, and gets burnt. Then his mother admonishes him about going close to fire. Already knowing that fire isn’t friendly ( from the pains it caused him), the child decides to heed  the mother’s advice. He stays away from fire henceforth. Does the pain and injury  caused by the fire burn go away immediately because the child decides to avoid playing with fire? No! The pain will remain until the wound is healed…the scare might even remain for a life time.

N:B FIRE = SIN; MOTHER = GOD; FIRE INJURY = CONSEQUENCES OF SIN

As it is with the child and the fire injury, so it is with sin and its consequences.

I repeat, the reason why some believers suffer despite their faith and love for God, is due to the “pain” from their past “sinful lives”, which is yet to go away

What do we do then? Worry about our past mistakes? Or live like there was never a past? Like nothing ever happened before we became believers, and then blame God for forsaking his own after He said that He will forgive when we turn from our sins?

God’s word is true and that includes His word about a man reaping what he sows. All we can do then is: To always PLEAD FOR GOD’S MERCY UPON YOUR LIFE”

His mercy is able to reduce the consequences of our past mistakes.

But then, let us take this home:

Let us be conscious of what we do today, for our today, will be our past tomorrow. Our deeds today, determine what our lives turn out like tomorrow. Do good today and reap good tomorrow. Do evil today, and evil awaits you tomorrow.

It is a choice we all have to make…let us choose wisely.

A submissive wife deserves a loving husband

Keeping it short and simple…my take is this:

Being submissive to her husband does not mean that a woman is weak, rather it means that she is a true child of her father (God).
This is because the command to be submissive is God’s, and not man’s.
Most women fear the word ‘submissiveness’ because they believe it is another word for being a “doormat”. This is as a result of some misconception of the word, and wrong teachings of some feminist. Again it could also be attributed to  some men’s treatment of women due to their(men) misunderstanding of what the word means as well.

If truly women have a clear understanding of what “it means for a woman to submit to her husband, then they would understand how easy it is, because they will know that, giving the position of man, starting from the time of creation, it is only natural for any woman to submit to the man in her life.

Having said that, if a woman must fulfill her own part of the command by God,  to be submissive, then the man MUST fulfil his, which is
“TO LOVE HIS WIFE JUST AS CHRIST LOVED HIS CHURCH AND GAVE HIS LIFE FOR IT. (Ephesians 5:22-25).
NB: A man that LOVES his wife WILL NEVER MISTREAT HER IN ANY WAY!

To be submissive is as simple as this:
LET YOUR MAN LEAD…LET HIM BE THE LEADER OF THE HOME.

Women are called “Helpmates”,  that means that the men are supposed to lead and then the women should help them.

Let him lead in everything…except the ones he assigns to you as his helpmate.

I SUPPORT FAIR TREATMENT…BUT NEVER GENDER EQUALITY
Woman was made out of a man, so how can they be equal????

We all have our places…let’s take them accordingly….