CHOICES

I have come to realize that what one wants out of life, influences and determines the choices one makes. The choices may include:

1. Circle of friends

2. Course of study in school; And even if there is a need to go to school😁

3. Career

4. Where to live

5. Life partner. Etc.

Now, I believe that four sets of people exist when we talk about life and choices.

A. Those who know that they are supposed to want something out of life, and equally understand what they  want out of life and how to go about getting that.

This set of people are always successful because they set out on time to go after things that will lead them to the ultimate goal. 98.9% of those that understand what they want and how to go about getting it, are Successful.

B.Those that know that they should want something out of life and not just live, but lack the knowledge of what they want and how to go about getting that.

This set of people struggle most times. They make a lot of wrong choices in life. But sometimes, they get lucky and circumstances that will lead them to the ultimate goal, come their ways and they grab the opportunities. They are able to grab the opportunities because already, THEY KNOW WHAT THEY WANT BUT ONLY LACK UNDERSTANDING OF HOW TO GO AFTER IT. So given a clue by the circumstance, they grab the bull by the horn and get to the ultimate goal. 90% of the people under this group succeed. But a greater percentage become success quite late in life because they spend most years of their lives, trying to figure out the “How”

C. Those that know that they should get something out of life, but are too lazy to even think about it. These people understand what it means to livea fulfilling life, but are too reluctant to make a move.

I found out that most times these people come from successful homes and feel that they don’t have to do anything since everything has been done for them by their parent(s).  Most of them have pretty much all that they want, when you talk about comfort and luxury. But they live unfulfilled lives, simply because they are living the lives of their parent(s). This group of people may have wealth to throw about, but within they know that something is missing because they have not got something out of life on their own.

D. The last group is the set of people who do not know that someone should even want anything out of life. To them, life is all about living and waiting for the day one dies. They go with anything. For them, anything works. This is the group of people that hardly grow. They know that they are not  getting the best in life, but do they even understand what that even means? No. These people beleive that life is worthless and sometimes wonder why they are even here in the first place. They struggle all the time and hardly make it. Sometimes they think that they are ill-lucked, or that “someone is against their progress”… But the problem is quiet simple: THEY DON’T KNOW THAT ONE HAS TO WANT SOMETHING OUT OF LIFE BEFORE ONE GETS ANYTHING OUT OF IT.

Having said all that, I wish to state that knowing what you want out of life is not a guarantee that one will be successful, but it helps. Again not knowing what one wants out of life does not necessarily mean that one won’t be successful.

Anyone can be successul by luck. I mean, the universe can still smile at the people under the last group and make them successful.

But then, success is not just about Wealth. A successful life is one that is fulfilling. You look around and know that you are making an impact. It does not have to be a very big impact, but you are doing something that gives you joy and defines your life.

Going back to the opening paragraph, I  wish to stress  that what we want in life determines our choices and these choices as enumerated in same paragraph, differ from one person to another, depending on what one wants out of life!

My point now is, why question people about their choices and even condemn them for making such choices? It doesn’t have to be your way because you certainly do not want the same things out of life.

I may want to live abroad and do a particular job and have a particular life style, now that’s what I want out of life and that will ultimately influence my choices!

You may want to be known now and even when you are dead and gone, by your words and the impact they make on people and that may comply you to make certain choices that people don’t even understand. Does that now make you stupid? No.

I remember when I told a family relative that I was going to study English in the uni and with a disgusted countenance, he asked me what ever happened to Law, Medicine and those other more professional courses. I told him that I wanted to study English because I wanted to be a writer, affecting lives with written words. Of course he thought it would be a waste of time and money for me to go spent four years in school learning English that I was already able to speak and write. 😀. But then, what he wants out of life and what i want are not the same. If Doctors and Lawyers are the only group of people that succeed in life, then why would those other professions be there? They are there because certainly not everyone wants to be a Lawyer or a doctor… Again we are talking about what we want out of life and how they influence our choices.

If you have not figured out what you want out of life and maybe are finding it difficult to do so, here is a tip.

LOOK WITHIN YOU AND DISCOVER THOSE THINGS THAT GIVE YOU SATISFACTION WHEN YOU DO THEM OR EVEN THINK OF DOING THEM…MAYBE THEY ARE CLUES ON WHAT YOU SHOULD WANT FROM LIFE…MAYBE THAT WILL BE A STEP TOWARDS GETTING TO THE ULTIMATE GOAL THAT AWAITS YOU!

Keep living a fulfiing life and let no one talk you into living their lives!

A GOAL WORTH SETTING…is worth setting well

A quote by Bill Copeland, is my motivation for this blog topic ” Set your goals, and set them right”. Bill Copeland’s quote goes thus:

“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life (time) running up and down the field, and never score”

What can be truer than this? I mean which footballer ever scored a goal in a field that has no goalpost? There must be a goalpost on every field, this goalpost is every player’s target. Once they have the ball, they run towards the goalpost to Score! That’s the only reason you see grown men running round the field, chasing that little round inanimate object! Sometimes they fall, and most times they get back up and keep chasing the ball, just so they can score!

How amazing is that? For lovers of football, nothing can be compared to the joy that “scoring a goal” on the field brings.

And I can understand that because scoring a goal means that they are “on point” . It shows that they are doing the right thing as far as the game is concerned.

Now, do you know that the same way a goalpost is fixed on every football field, is same way it is fixed in our lives? What do I mean?

Here is the answer. Have you ever wondered what we are doing here on earth?I asked a little girl this question and she answered

” to eat, grow, go to school, graduate, become a doctor “(that’s what she wants to be,a doctor).

Now someone may say that her answer is naive or childish, but I didn’t think so. In fact I was amazed that at her age (5) she had an idea of what goes on in this world. Don’t people eat every day? Don’t they grow? Don’t they go to school? Graduate? And then hope to practise what they have studied in school? That’s it! That’s all we do. Every move we make, is because we want to be able to take care of ourselves and our responsibilities, to have a good life, and for the very ambitious ones, make a difference in the world.

But then, what happens when we don’t set our goals, or don’t set them right? We fail! It’s as simple as that. We end up not only not achieving anything in life, but equally become liabilities to those that have set their goals right.

We all have dreams…in our heads we all want to be successful. Like the girl that wants to be a doctor, she may not have a full understanding of what being a doctor is all about, but she has an idea because she has seen doctors and she likes and admire them ,probably for a reason as petty as the way they dress or the stethoscopes they hang over their neck…haha. But then that’s probably the little that her little mind could grasp at the moment. But the point is that she likes doctors and wishes to be one.

Now that’s her dream(goal). But it doesn’t end there. It’s not enough for her to just have that dream. She must be coached in order for that dream to come true, to know if being a doctor is even what suits her.

At that tender age, she must be made to understand that without hard work and dedication to her studies, she may never be a doctor or whatever she may change her mind to become in the future.

This exactly, is the thing with setting goals. You must set goals in order to score. She must study hard and be dedicated in her efforts, in order to be a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, a nurse, an engineer, etc.

Nobody has ever made it big by playing and goofing around, just like no player has ever scored by running round the field without focusing on the goalpost.

We must know what we want (Set goals),and have concrete and realisable reasons for wanting those things that we want (setting the goals right), in order to achieve them. If not, we may end up wasting our lives, living for nothing, and achieving nothing. Remember, this life is all that we’ve got (Nobody really can tell what happens when one is dead). So it is expected of us to make everything that we do count.

Start setting those goals and keep scoring! 😁

QUITTING…the easiest route

“Quitting is the easiest thing to do, especially when we don’t get the desired results”

But the question is:” Is it really the BEST thing to do; quit?”

“Rome wasn’t built in a day”, so the saying goes.

The above could be interpreted differently depending on the context. But i want to go with this interpretation:

Rome wasn’t built in a day = Keep doing it until you get the right results

Even if you have to do it over and over and over again, provided that you are doing the right things, don’t quit because one day, the desired results will come.

Here is a story of Kenny, a friend that almost gave up on her dreams because she was presented the easy way out: Quitting

A very funny and creatively jovial friend of mine decided to take her talents out there. She opened an Instagram account where she wanted to sell her brand. (As a comedienne). If you are familiar with social media, you would understand that getting a huge fanbase is very difficult if you are not a celebrity in some sort of a way. She had to start with her friends,family members and co workers. We showed our support by watching and liking her acts on the social media.

But That wasn’t doing much for her. She wasn’t getting the kind of exposure she needed. At a point it became frustrating. She wanted to give up, saying “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. How can i post a one minute of a seemingly interesting and funny clip and get 20 views and 10 likes in 24 hours?”

In a bid to encourage her, we figured that she wasn’t getting the right exposure. Having family, friends and few co workers on your list of followers isn’t going to give you what you want. So we came up with a plan. Some of us started sharing the skits on our pages and other pages, like groups. Others started tagging some known handles to see if they would find her skits and jokes funny enough to share.

All that didn’t do much. In fact one of her family members was warned by a certain celebrity never to tag her to such nonsense again. 🤪.

That was the last straw for my comedienne friend. Her jokes referred to as NONSENSE? She wasn’t going to continue wasting her time doing nonsense. She was going to quit.

Then I asked her, “why did you choose to do this in the first place?” “Because it comes to me naturally and it makes me happy. And secondarily i hope to make money out of it someday”, was her answer.

“Why do you want to quit?” i further asked

“Because a certain celebrity called it nonsense”

“Do you think it’s nonsense?”

“No, but…”

“Add no buts. So you want to quit because one person out of billions of people in the world thinks that what you do is nonsense?”

No answer, but that did it for her!

She continued with her uploads, even though she was still getting few views and likes. She became dedicated and sough for ways to make even better skits. One year and not much improvement but she did not stop. She was determined to do what makes her happy, enjoying it for the joy it gave her, even though no fame and money was at sight at the moment.

At a point she even stopped thinking of the fame and focused more on the fun part of it.

Two years down the line, her story began to change. A popular handle that was once tagged to her skits , suddenly started following her on Instagram. They found her contents funny and started re-posting on their page. That was it! She got more exposure…more followers…more attention.

She was still trying to figure how that happened when she got a call from a brand that they want to feature her on their comedy show. Not just that, they wanted her to create new skits for their TV.

She was that good! Her nonsense was that good!

My friend did not believe it. She was going to be paid almost half a million to be at that comedy show and millions for the contents she would create for the TV. It wasn’t going to be an easy one because professionalism had to come in, but that was the moment she had dreamt of and she was determined to make the best out of it.

She did, and her story changed for good. She became a known face in the comedy industry and social media. And she has got joy and a lot of cash to show for it. The best part is, the celebrity that called her skits nonsense not only followed her on Instagram but equally buys tickets to go for her shows.

So…what is the message?

Rome wasn’t built in a day, so don’t expect your empires to be built in one day. Patience and “the right hard work” are all you need to make it.

Obstacles are bound to come, but they are not meant to knock you down but to strengthen you.

For my friend, she made the obstacle that came to knock her down her focus and strength: she was determined to prove that she wasn’t doing nonsense.

The truth is that not everyone will approve of what you do, but you alone have the power to tell yourself that you cannot give up halfway. And believe me, provided that everything is pointed in the right direction, you will make it…it doesn’t matter how long it takes…you will make it.

DO NOT QUIT!

WHAT LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME

The older we get, the wiser we become! Well, it is supposed to be that way because more time we spend here on earth, the more experiences we have and the experiences are supposed to reshape our lives positively. (This may not always stand for everyone 😂) So if you have become wiser with age, BRAVO! Let’s drink to that 🥂!

In an ideal world, we LIVE TO LEARN. Didn’t they say that he who stops learning, stops living?

This can’t be argued because every event that happens around us, is meant to teach us. Unfortunately not a lot of people are able to learn from the events that happen around them or even in their lives.

On the morning of my birthday this year, Continue reading “WHAT LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME”

ARE YOU IN CHARGE?

Take charge of your life…everyone is too busy doing same for themselves, to do so for you”

There is a reason why some people rise and keep rising, and there is equally a reason why some never rise at all. It is called “Taking Charge” “And waiting for luck”, respectively.

I believe in destiny, yes i do. But I equally believe that we are 90% (or more) in charge of our destinies. Remember the saying that “Heaven helps those who help themselves”?

I remember back in 2013, when i was thinking of what to do with my scriptwriting talent. I needed to put that part of me out there for the world to see.( i started writing when i was 13. But my audience was few family members 😂)

I wanted to have my name on TV screens (haha). Then i did something:

In my diary, I wrote down steps to take as:

  1. Brainstorm on stories

  2. Create scripts from them

  3. Find movie producers, Directors and investors to market the scripts to.

I did not stop there, I started working towards achieving what i wrote on that page.

It wasn’t easy, but the universe confirmed what was constantly on my mind. And through my efforts, it seeing my efforts, it helped to bring out what was already deposited in me. Before the end of 2015, my name was already appearing on the TV as a Scriptwriter!…

They say that “We attract what is constantly on our minds”? But it should not end up in your mind…you must take steps towards achieving them, else you will attract and then eventually “repel” them. A dream neglected, is a dead dream.

Assuming i wrote “i want to be a Screenwriter ” in all the pages of my diary, and then took no action towards achieving that, would it have become a reality? It’s a big NO. It would have been a dream that was not allowed to see the light and it would have died.

The universe has given us all that we need and they are deposited in us. (Talent, creativity, ability to think, etc) But if we don’t give them life, they will not live.

We are responsible for the life of our destiny.

I will always use myself as an example.

If I didn’t know what i wanted at that time, and equally didn’t work towards achieving it , then no Jupiter would have brought opportunities to me. This is my belief and i am very positive that it is valid.

“It is not enough to know what we want. It is very important that we go all out to get them”

Recently, i met someone…a young, very beautiful and promising girl. (and we are friends now😊) She knows me as a writer and our discussion centred mainly on that. In the course of our discussions, she mentioned that she desired to be famous some day. She wanted her name to be a household name. I was really excited for her . Below is an excerpt from our discussion

” Why not!”, i said out of excitement. “Everyone can be anything they want to be”, I added. And then i asked her how she wanted to make that happen. Her response was : “Well I don’t know how, but I know that it would happen”.

To be honest i was put off at that moment. She started off as a very intelligent person and now this? 🙁I took some seconds to observe her and then i asked,

“Do you know what your talents are?”

“Do i have one?” She asked me.

What? 😳. I rolled my eyes at her 🙄 and then said

“Please do not mock your Maker” ”

How?”, she asked

“How could you think that you are an empty barrel? How could you think and even say that nothing was deposited in you?” She was confused as she wondered at me.

“That’s exactly what you said when you asked if you had a talent “, I explained.

“Oh!”, she laughed “But that’s true. I don’t have any talent”

“Except you are not human, because every human being has at least one talent. The fact that you haven’t discovered yours doesn’t mean that you don’t have one”, I explained.

She continued staring at me.

To cut the long story short, i was able to convince her that she had talent(s) Then I went ahead to give myself the task of helping her discover what her talents are. (We are still at it 😂).

So back to her ambitions of being famous! She had no idea how that would happen and didn’t think that it is her duty to figure that out. She didn’t even know what her talents are and from my experience , and that of others, we have 99 percent of making it in life through the help of our talents. And my friend didn’t think that she had one. Imagine that.

Having said that anyway, she may be among the very tiny percentage of people that their destinies run after them, and she may become famous like she wants to be, by just dreaming to be. Or! That may never happen and her name will never be a household name like she dreams, but will only be known by her family members and friends.

See my point?

I am still trying to figure out what this earth is made of and what keeps it going…i am not sure that I will be able to get answers to all my questions concerning that. But i know that i have got an answer to one question:

The answer is, YES, we are 90% (or more) in charge of our destiny. Or what do you think?

Let me leave you with the facts that:

Successful people take chances and risks to get to where they are.

And

What we become, is what we not only desire, but equally work for.

Please feel free to share your thoughts with me.